'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
My family lay sleeping while I sat clicking the mouse.
Online receipts to be hung by the chimney with care,
The only solution devised as I had no gifts to place there.
When all I wanted to do was snuggle tight in my bed,
I was forced to stay up and buy Playstation instead.
Now I promised my children that I’d get them this crap,
And as soon as I'm finished, I think I’ll have a nightcap.
I found myself saying, ‘material things shouldn’t matter,’
And then I saw my kid’s faces and it made me grow sadder.
I’d like to shower them with gifts, and boat loads of cash
But dammit… that’s right, my wife spent our last stash.
Only one night before Christmas and soon it will show
That I forgot to buy presents until an hour ago.
When, what to my wondering eyes should I see?
My favorite 3dcart store suddenly speaking to me!
I opened my Gmail, so lively and quick,
And I knew in a moment this offer was sick.
Free shipping for me and killer presents for you;
With a 50 percent discount, this cannot be true!
Now, Playstation! now, xBox! now, iPhone and Tablet!
On, Flat Screen! on Computer! on, Clothing and Gadgets!
To the top of my shopping cart! to the top of my Facebook wall!
I will speak of this deal, to one and to all!
What little remaining credit I have soon will fly,
But at least I’ll have presents piled high to the sky.
Up in my study the buying process began;
I bought video games for the kids; and for my wife, a new man.
Then, in a twinkling, I heard noise from outside.
My quiet little neighborhood started coming alive.
As I drew back my hand and averted my eyes to look down
I saw a gargantuan UPS truck slowly driving around.
It was decked-out with lights and Bose speakers to boot.
Was he really jamming to Biggie’s ‘Gimme the Loot?’
I saw the bundle of presents he had stashed in the back.
I thought, ‘This can’t be for me. I’m not lucky like that.’
When he exited the vehicle his eyes began to twinkle.
Then I got so excited, I thought I might tinkle!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin looked like a hipster’s, ya know?
He gave me a sack filled with gifts that seemed mine.
I said, ‘These can’t be for me. I just bought them online.’
He soon swung around with a giant smirk on his face
And said, ‘Call it a miracle, now get back in your place.’
When I peered in the bag, I stood stone in surprise;
It was everything I ordered sitting before my own eyes.
With a wink, a bow and a twist of his head,
He soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke little else before returning to work,
How could I have deserved this, I the big jerk?
As he quickly drove off, I heard him holler through speakers,
'Don’t thank me, thank 3dcart you last-minute gift seeker.'
Has my favorite eComm Software partnered with Santa at last?
That has to be it; my presents got here so fast!
I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas from 3dcart, and to all a good night."
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